Tasha's

神啊！救救我吧！

2011-09-05T11:37:00.002+08:00

我此刻有很深的挫折感，或许不是此刻，一直以来都是这样

很讨厌我现在的工作，对，很讨厌，每天上班像是被讨债一样的痛恨着，不知道自己怎么会走到这一步

一子错，满盘皆落索

接下来，我该怎么办？

辞职吗? 咬紧牙，挨过这一年？

神啊，救救我吧！

突然好想你

2011-05-23T20:38:00.002+08:00

最近很忙，真的很忙，忙工作，忙家里，忙婚礼

对，在忙婚礼，连续不断的有人在结婚，而且常常都发生两场在同一天的状况。而我常常都想统统都去，所以更忙，更累。妈说，为何要那么辛苦，不去也无所谓啊，但我偏偏想去，尽量赶，也想到，因为觉得这样累着，其实很开心

那天有人开玩笑的跟我说着，要撮合我和某人，我说了谢谢，嘴巴上说不要，我无所谓，其实心里很高兴，其实还想他们再做些什么，其实还想有更多和他的互动，但又不想让自己失望，所以还是顺其自然好一些

一个人久了，其实真的会习惯，其实从另一角度看，是一种成长

我，还在成长中

天.不.蓝

2010-08-23T16:05:00.002+08:00

为何懂得越多，就越害怕？

今天的天空突然变得很灰，不知道为什么，事情渐渐定案，但不安的情绪却一直围绕着，莫名其妙的害怕很多事情

她受到了打击，很难过，心疼于她的挫折，无奈着自己的懦弱，无能为力，帮不上忙

现实和理想到底差多远？她不能理解为何我明明有梦想，却不去争取，她不能理解为何我明明想爱，却不敢行动，其实再解释也没有用，因为自己也不知道自己在害怕什么

想哭的情绪在蔓延，却不想面对，只好假装看不见

好.很好

2010-08-20T02:19:00.002+08:00

好不好，应该很好

生活的重心渐渐慢慢回到自己身上，好像变得有点自我，但会努力修正

其实一切很好，所有事情进行得还不错，前阵子因为月事，可能情绪有些起伏，我抱歉，对不起

她那天问我，“你不觉得朋友很奇妙吗？可以陪你做很多事情，但不是所有，总好像知道有个限制，怎样也不会越过界，而且永远知道对方在想什么；可情人呢？让你予取予求，一样陪着你做所有事情，但却总是无法真正了解对方在想些什么，但朋友永远都不够，总是想要找个情人，这样的关系，很微妙，对不对？”

我说，“对啊，因为是朋友，所以可以为对方付出很多，但因为就只是朋友，所以还是有些到不了的地方，所以要情人。”

我其实忘了当时自己是怎么说的，后来我想想，让我想到了这个，或许

情人让你学着怎么爱人，朋友让你学着怎么爱自己

吧

很好的一天 =)

梦

2010-07-23T02:44:00.002+08:00

我现在其实应该在睡觉，但莫名其妙醒过来了，而且又没有烟抽，实在有点不爽

虽然说是开学了，但其实开学后，我的日子好像比较好过了一些，最起码是名正言顺的待在这里，不用千辛万苦，费劲心思就只想要跑上来，至于为什么那么辛苦，那应该是另外的故事了

日子还是一样的在过，好的，坏的，统统都有

之前接下来的一份差事，就是安排周年晚宴的节目，给的预算太少，自己的期望太高，所以压力有点大，然后欧阳的事情，让我又再一次陷入一种莫名其妙的情绪里面，那时候有很多的想法，很多东西很想表达，可我却一个字都不想写，直到现在情绪没有了，灵感也跑了，才突然想写些什么

我记得刚有人跟我说过law of attraction，我其实不太明白，只是大概记得她说你如果一直想着某个人，某个人就会来找你，我听了只想笑，今天我莫名奇妙的想起某个人，他也莫名奇妙挂在fb上，莫名其妙的我们又聊了起来，是那个什么什么law的吗？我不知道

我最近应该是有点太想谈恋爱了吧，竟然作了春梦，跟一个真的很够力莫名其妙的人，疯了吧，我

我只是睡到一半，莫名其妙的醒了，莫名奇妙的又想写些什么，所以就莫名其妙的写了一堆有的没有的

我有点emo，莫名其妙的...

R.I.P. 欧阳学姐

2010-07-18T01:43:00.003+08:00

轻轻的你走了，不带走一片云彩

是这样吗？

一个人的离去，会带走些什么，又会留下些什么？

生离死别的这一课，我还在学习

无奈，是所有人最讨厌的一种感觉，看着一个人的离去，却什么也做不了，那种无力感，是最最伤人的心疼

看着冰冷的你，我很不习惯，因为习惯了那温暖的你，习惯了你的手轻轻的搭在我肩上，说因为我有很多的想法，所以节目要我多多担待，这样的你，是我习惯的你

所有人因为你的离去感到惋惜，因为你总是用最热诚的心，去完成每一件事情，还有谁能做得比你更好？

没有人，因为你是最好的

为何要这样

2010-07-01T18:55:00.003+08:00

我实在很讨厌别人用酸的语气跟我说话，你骂我倒还好，我还可以装傻瓜，酸我，抱歉我实在无法忍受，因为那是我的极限，请不要随便挑战

我不懂！校友会的事情我已经解释了一遍又一遍，你不懂，不支持，那请问我的人生该怎么办啊？书我已经不念得怎么样了，难道不能让我在其他事情上面找回自己那一点点的自信和尊严吗？你不懂得给我这些东西无所谓，但请不要阻止我去追求，可以吗？

我朋友就是很多，多到我相信今天如果我死了，足以把灵堂挤爆的数量，这样讲，你懂吗？我不知道是不是有真心这件事，但如果没有了他们，我根本不可能可以像今天这样站起来，谁在帮我，谁在利用我，或许不能很明确的把好人坏人分界的清清楚楚，但什么时候该保护自己，我不会不知道

每次回到家，我不是不开心，我很喜欢回家，只是有些时候，我的情绪，我真的不想带回去，这样你又懂不懂？本来跟他们已经没有什么话好说的了，现在各自都有了家庭，让我每次回到家，只觉得自己像个局外人，像是去探望他儿子的访客多一点，这样你到底懂不懂？

我真的真的很爱你们，非常感激你们的存在，在你们的感觉和我的人生之间，可以帮我，帮我达到那小小的平衡吗？

请，不要再这样了

原来.是.忧郁

2010-07-01T02:57:00.002+08:00

其实，我一直都知道自己很幸福，应该有的，我都不缺，家人朋友从来不曾缺席，任何时候，都在左右

到现在，不确定是否已经准备好，前几天，写了一封很长的信，正式的跟他说了对不起，对于我的无知，我的疯狂，我的胡言乱语，我以为这样可以让自己对于努力于下一段感情时会更有信心一些，但却一点帮助也没有，原来我的无法前进，跟他没有关系，虽然正式的道歉我依然觉得是有必要的，那，到底，还欠什么？

她问，一直这样放不开，什么时候你才可以嫁出去啊？单身一辈子绝对不是我的终极目标，她了解，我更清楚

他说，试试看，你会吃亏吗？怕什么？你的聪明足以让你就算得不到，也不会处于必败之地啊

心机，我不是不会耍，男人，好的，也不是没有，只是，我不确定他是否看见了我，你可以说我好强，我不喜欢输，就算是感情也一样

出现了一个又一个，我放弃了一个又一个，总是再告诉了姐妹的第二天，就决定放弃，不想，更不会去做什么，别说什么努力了

现在的自己，一切都很美好，起码我表现得我的生活很美好，即使没有另外一半，即使很多晚上，我无法入眠，只因为我觉得自己很寂寞

男人，你到底想什么？

女人，你到底要什么？

生.日.快.乐

2010-06-11T00:42:00.002+08:00

小祝福大心意

生日快乐

I am ON!

2010-05-21T05:47:00.002+08:00

When I was 13, I thought I can do everything without anyone.

When I am 23, I realised that I can't do anything without everyone.

Life is a bitch.

Spent hours to look through my photos within this few years time. Still, my life is beautiful. After few years spending in KL, I am not sure if I had turned into a typical KL girl, but more lessons coming on, I had learned what is realistic, the charming prince doesn't exist, it was only for the bed time story.

Emo days has end, I am back to myself again. The usual me who takes everything as how is it.

During my emo days, the quote is what I have realised.

Look back my days, look back all my pictures, how can my life be beautiful without all of them?

The family, the friends. They are just right there whenever I want them to be. How can I be stronger and stronger if they are not there for me?

"Why men love bitches" Don't get lost, if you ever did, read this. Girl, we can really rule the world if we ever wanted to. =)

绝对

2010-05-17T19:08:00.002+08:00

不得不说，在你一次又一次的表现了你的勇敢，我真的完完全全被你感动了，所以选择支持，不管结果是什么，不管今天你还想做什么决定，我都愿意相信你

在你还没开始读下去的时候，我希望你记着，绝对，绝对，我们还是站在你这边，还是愿意支持你做的任何决定，还是绝对愿意和你一起去面对所有人的眼光，甚至可以很骄傲的跟别人说，对，她是我的好朋友，关于她的选择，我无条件支持

如果你把我们当作是好朋友，请原谅我们不得不在意你妈的感受，当然不会比你来得多，因为是你妈，所以在你们两个人对立的立场上，我不得不说一些可能会让你觉得对我们很失望的话

对不起，刚刚在电话里，我没有要责怪你的意思，只是我曾经想过你妈的感受，我真的不想事情会变得太糟糕，我更加不愿意你做出任何冲动的决定，你或许会说你不会，可气在头上的时候，会怎么样不是自己就可以判断的

你一直以来都活在不被理解的痛苦中，这点我很清楚，所以我不想加重你的痛苦，看着你这样一路走来，或许我不能全部都理解，但你的痛，我都感受得到，我不会担心你，但绝对，你有着我们给你想要的，甚至是不想要的关心＝）

假使我漂亮

2010-05-15T00:38:00.003+08:00

突然觉得它离我很遥远，好像我已经不再需要这个东西，好像它突然变成了自己很尴尬的一块，很复杂的感觉，想要，却又不敢要，更多的其实是害怕

距离上一次的分手，一转眼就两年了，很多事情都已经放下，看开，甚至已经忘记了，可有一件事，它不曾被遗忘，就连自己也不知道该如何忽略，还会有人喜欢自己吗？对，这样的一个我，谁会喜欢？好的女生很多，漂亮的女生更多，我其实不知道自己的位置在哪里。信心我是有的，只是不足以说服别人，甚至是自己

说我不担心，我在骗人，说我不寂寞，也是在骗人，可是它似乎不是找男朋友的理由，因为它无法超越我的自卑，让自己觉得可以找到好的一个人

最近遇见的，都很不错，甚至是理想中的条件，可那又怎样？他是你的条件，你却不是他的那杯茶

我其实很美丽，起码我的心很不错，如果你愿意多了解

＝）

也許這個理由不便形容你未夠膽講

也許不愛我只因藐視我未能似藝人好看

原諒我　未發現情人　為外貌這麼嚮往

而你竟疏遠全沒有情講

＊假使我漂亮　性格縱使不吃香

　如明星賣相　亦惹來讚賞

　得到這種對象　纏綿才馨香

　多幾個對象　怕你愛得比我傷

　有另一下場　但愛情沒價

　何必幻想　值錢的不是善良

　殘忍到怕去承認真相　＊

你的工作不開心便在乎我贈你的湯

到我親吻你即使要面對面時你沒有在乎一看

原諒我　誤解可給你踏實地幸福一趟

饒恕我不信情熱靠濃妝

只需要漂亮　怕你愛得比我傷　有另一下場

就此凡人迷戀偶像　無聊扮心癢

Repeat ＊

當然我漂亮　從前迷上你什麼　都甘心奉上

愛會使我臉色發亮　為何要靠扮相

p/s 我mc到，所以不要太认真

Only if you understand

2010-04-30T05:57:00.002+08:00

By Maefurriel

Only if you understand.

是什么让我们瞬间变得如此胆怯？

傻傻等待被爱，却又不想勇敢的去爱，是现在的我们

选择先去伤害，似乎是保护自己的最好方法，让对方难过，总好过最终付出了所有，才换来另一场难过

我们其实都一样，所以最终都不会得到想要的，所以我学会了让感情注入更多的现实，而不是感觉，但即使这样，我还是害怕，不知道害怕什么，很怀念从前那个不顾一切往前冲的自己，只是，她现在只能被怀念，不会再出现

对，我又放弃了，甚至放弃去喜欢人的期待，很怕，怕真的会孤单一辈子，但更怕被拒绝，更害怕失望，最害怕受伤害

求，哪怕他有那么一点点的欣赏我

愿，真的会有那么一个

陈小小@好眼泪@许夫人

2010-04-26T14:26:00.004+08:00

欢迎家里的新成员，我们的小宝贝，先把她叫做陈小小吧。

小小快要出世了，她妈妈还在镇痛着，我也即将回到芙蓉去迎接我的亲爱的陈小小宝贝

可是，在还没去看她之前，我得先去探望我的另一个宝贝

表姐说她梦见了她，我竟然哭了，是很开心的哭，因为我一直感叹她无法参与的事情，她统统都见证了，她从未离开过，一直一直都在，应该也看见了我对她的思念吧？

有人曾经说过我是一个活在过去的人，但对我而言，把不在的人永远放在心中不是活在过去，因为我有好多好多的事情想和她分享，所以让她活在我心中，陪着我，去迎接每一件开心的事情，特别是她，好想好想让她知道我们究竟有多好，有多开心，在她离开以后，我们活得更好，她用生命让我们懂得珍惜，所以我看见的我们的每一分幸福里，都有她的影子

*感动@生命的奇迹*

BFF ♥

2010-04-21T13:53:00.005+08:00

说不上来我有多担心，可以理解，但不能接受，我们常常都必须要面临这样的困境

说到底，你们决定了，我还是必须接受，必须支持，不为什么，纯粹只是好朋友对我而言太重要，纯粹只是我们都明白我们其实都很任性，纯粹只是我们都知道我们其实都不想认命

我最近学着让自己用不一样的态度去看待所有事情，因为突然觉得自己命太好，家境好，环境好，朋友好，所以不想抱怨，不想花太多事件在负面情绪上

可是看着自己在乎的每一个人，做了和自己全然不同的决定，我很担心，担心结果会不会不好

当然，我们都到了可以为自己负责任的时候，是吗？有时候我其实很怀疑

现实逼着我们必须低头，必须放弃自己想要的，必须付出更多去得到自己想要的，牺牲的会是什么，无法预计，得到的会是什么，无法计算

未知是一种刺激，过程是一种负担，等待是一种无奈，结果呢？

我无法看见结果，所以选择毫无条件支持，选择无限的祝福

在你飞的旅途上...

You might be alone, but you are not lonely.

Don't you just love the way it is?

2010-04-20T03:20:00.004+08:00

最近我的生活常常会让我陷进一种哭笑不得的窘况

说了，我很想谈恋爱，但不想急着谈恋爱，所以我还是想，那天晚上睡前我还在怀念当时有个人睡前和起床时会传些问候的简讯给我，结果第二天睡醒，电话打开，I am still sick. I miss you. Will you be going back today？分别由三个不同的人传给我的，这种甜蜜，我真的不知道该说什么，因为三个都是女人 (一个不是，但对我而言，他和女人没两样）＝＝

那天我说，Life is beautiful, 结果我前男友的前女友跑来comment说她的life不beautiful，但希望她的朋友可以beautiful，我不知道怎么回应，真的很莫名奇妙，因为我莫名其妙地，有点自豪，不要问我为什么，纯粹只是我觉得我过得很好，应该比她好，一点点＝）

刚刚我的好朋友正式的公布了她的恋情，开心，可是又觉得怪怪的，不管怎样，她开心就好＝）

然后在facebook上面看到了这个，是有quota还是什么啊？＝＝

还是有很多莫名其妙的事情烦恼着，也有很多不可思议的事情惊喜着，还有不少戏剧性的八卦被分享着，更多该完成的事情等待着

而我，依旧阴晴不定的等待着

刚好，今天是晴天 =)

Are You Ready?

2010-03-14T20:24:00.001+08:00

March. Time Flies.

I think I am more than just ready afterall. But it was too late while there is no one ready for me. Not sure if I am moving too fast or I am far more laid back than others.

I guess I am a lousy player in the game called love. How to deal with someone when you are not sure he/she is into you? I am not sure. Not sure if I want for a serious relationship, I have phobia with it, guess is just the matter of time, my one not shown up yet. But I am kinda sure I want someone to be my side, to just comfort me, to just look at me whenever I wanna be.

Thought that I found someone like that, once again, I stepped back. I was too scare to even fool around while I am not sure if I will be the one who get fooled at then end.

Once again, proved that I am the loser. =)

20 10

2010-01-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

Here come the 2010.

I have no idea with what should I expect for this new year.

Just continue... wasted it out. =)

Happy New Year

Long Time No See

2009-10-19T15:30:00.002+08:00

It's been three months I never updated anything in this bloggie. Nothing much have changed in my life, I am still single, still very much available. Party, dramas, troubles, happiness, all these are still going on for the past 3 months.

I feel like something strange going on with people around me, people who are close to me. But I am too retarded to show my care, unless you willing to share.

I am happy for myself, at least I am not as emotionally affected as how I used to be with everything happened around me.

Life still goes on.

All the best for my finals. All the best for my love life. :)

Lost

2009-07-21T23:54:00.003+08:00

It was totally a mess, but I think is over now, for my part, at least.

I just have to move on and on

It Still Hurts

2009-06-09T15:33:00.000+08:00

I heard it, the sound of my broken heart

I want to cry, all the way out, make myself feel better

But my tears can't find themselves a good reason to shed

It was meant to be broken

My heart, the Love

有感而发

2009-06-05T16:20:00.005+08:00

感觉上，会有另一个低气压的氛围发生，做好了心理准备去看待这些事情，不是第一次了

他的前女友告诉他喜欢了另一个人，看见了他眼里的失落，问我该有什么感觉，听出了他心底的痛

她的男友即将要离开，之前的潇洒，之前的洒脱，完全看不见了，看见的，只是一个为爱傻傻在挣扎的女人

看见这些，也想起了自己，欺骗自己，好吗？我不知道

眼见他兴奋地准备迎接新生活，像个傻瓜一样站在旁边，问着，那自己该怎么办？又或者期待他会把自己纳入那新计划中，结果呢？自己把对方当成生命的一部分，对方却把自己看成一个过程，结束了，还会有下一个。还没有懂得怎么把这一部分拿掉，他已经开始了下一个过程，那自己又该怎么办？

她不是笨，我们看见的，她不会看不见，只是不想面对，把那些统统变成盲点，选择相信自己想的，努力，应该就会有好结果，即使看见了太多不可能

把自己逼进角落，认清了所有事情又会是个好结果吗？应该吧，不能爱，选择了恨，结果还只是伤了自己，因为看得开，但放不下，逼着自己把所有真相赤裸裸的摊在自己面前，心痛得无法承受，这样，又会好吗？

“自己把一切给了他，结果换来了什么？”这些，我们都问过自己，但总是忽略不了心底还想再为他做些什么，还想着自己有机会去为他付出什么，这想法，是该压抑，还是该表现?

我本来就不是一个有原则的人，在感情上，我更加不敢大言不惭地说自己一定会怎样，因为终究要面对的，还是自己，当你无法定义什么是爱的时候，你又该怎么找到自己的标准？

Women, they want things in simple, but always tend to turn the situation a lot more complicated to obtain the simplest goal. Women are basically trouble, they love you, they like you, but they can never tell you what they want exactly, cause they don't exactly know what they want. First, maybe they want to make sure that you like/love them, then they want somekind of feeling being assured, then they want for promises, then they want it forever. They want everything, but always forgot what they need.

My Blasting Sunday

2009-05-25T19:55:00.004+08:00

It was a nice sunday, wake up very very early. Went to TITI for a one day trip with my dear poppa, momma, ah Bi, Sherry, and uncle and auntie. Had our breakfast there. Sleepie @.@

=Famous kuih in TITI, been on Tv before lerr=

=Birds Fight=

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Then we quickly rush back home in the afternoon, cause we have other plans, hehe.. bao ba zang!!!

Auntie Ivy be our si fu and teach us step my step how to make a niceee ba zang.

=The Ingredients=

=Me concentrating in making the nicest Ba Zang=

=Tasha's piece of art=

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Then rush back to Sunway again after my nicee sunday reunion dinner, and meet up with my frens. They want drink, I don't enjoy it. So I suggest a place we all can have fun. Karaoke!!!!! They drink, I sing, Win-Win rite?

=Danial.CY.Edwin.Stefanie.Me=

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My lil niece just cut all her hair even her eyebrow into botak today, but ah yi was too busy to go visit her today. Hmm... Cant wait to see her, my cute lil fellow.

Thats all for my sunday.

I want to go Zouk this thurs, anyone???

Love don't come cheap

2009-05-17T02:14:00.002+08:00

I still remember how I brought up myself from the previous time I failed, I still remember how people saying that I look more beautiful than before. But this time, I still seems like retarded afterall. No one failed me, except for myself. I tried so hard to make myself look better, happier, but it wasn't real. I still feel lonely somehow, I still look up for someone's care pathetically, when I know it wasn't suppose to be like this. I don't need that to move on, when at the end I will just digging the hole deeper and deeper.

I am a very emotional person, always do things without any thinking. I want a lot of support, a lot of positive energy from everyone, some courage maybe. Isn't it obvious that I am bring up myself, a bit slow, a bit retarded maybe, but at least I still trying.

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I am very bad in dealing with guys, I actually prefer they turn out to me first. If you are interested, do let me know, don't put me on try, cause I am definitely the worse player in this game.

I got freaked out, from the past relationships, that promises can't be trust, that "I Love You" can't be trust, that "I Will Try" can't be trust. I wanted it so badly and ends up I lost all my bet. It was a wrong game, with the wrong player, wrong chips.

All I want now is just something easy, really easy, just company, probably two lonesome walks together and be with each other.

Guess I am just too lonely.

2009-05-12T02:53:00.002+08:00

I had lots of grumpy these few days, getting emo cause feeling myself unappreciated, but God guide me to this video. Once again, I remember I am so blessed that everyone I loved still besides me.

Thank you, for reminded me once again that I am blessed.

A letter for you

2009-05-11T01:23:00.003+08:00

My dear Lil Baby Niece,

I don't know when will you get the chance to see this, maybe 10, maybe 15, or maybe you will not have the chance to see this forever, but still, I wanted to tell you how much you have inspired me.

I want to tell you that you are more than just welcome to the world, especially to the family, at this point of time. After so many things had happened, your presence is more like a miracle, a sign of more hapiness and a sign of peace.

You make me fee brand new, after I have done so wrong in so many things.

You are going to grown up into a very beautiful girl. You will be such a wonderful human being to love and to be loved. But still, you will need to go through a lot of shits that will pull you down, but I know you will deal with it better than I do. I know you will know how to love yourself more than I do. I know you will keep your tears for the one you think is worth, I know you will be loved. And you know we all love you.

My inspiration, My niece.

Hearts

=Ah Yi=

xoxo

Phew

2009-05-10T01:58:00.002+08:00

Finally done with my brother's wedding

Congratulations to my dear Dai Lou and Dai Sou. ^^

p/s More photos will be uploaded soon. I am SUPER HOT today!

I Heart Her

2009-05-06T21:40:00.002+08:00

I seriously running out of words. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha is all I can say now.

Baby Girl, Un-named. 2.6kg. My Niece.

Ah Yi promise you that I will sayang you to the max, and I bet you too.

=XOXO=

A Long Post

2009-05-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

Okay... very well, I haven't been update for like a month. But can't blame me lah, coz my lil blooggiee not popular at all, get no response everytime I wrote something, got bit fed up d lor.

Now I am back again, cause i seriously need money, since i signed up with the Nuffnang thing, see if it could help me top up my bank balance or not lor. HeHe... Friends, tolong support support okk?? Senang senang click into my blog and view view, make the visitor counter up up up.

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Okay, what have I done the past few weeks? (I had a lot of idea what to write moments ago, but now dunno where they all go dy. >.<)

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The weeks before this was a huge mess, I still remember someone told me not to haih haih haih, and my reply was, "Not that I want to haih haih haih, cause there is nothing to let me Ha Ha Ha!" And he claimed that I need a boyfriend, hmmm... I admitted, I want one! *o* hehe.

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Finally, I permed my hair. It turns out to be ok. A lot people say I look better with the new hair. *o*

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Hanging out quite a lot with Aub and CY, as usual, endless topic, non-stop talking even we just meet up not more than 24 hours ago.

Shabu Shabu, Puchong. They don't seems like enjoyed it much. But I still like the place, Hehe...

Thank god they are here, Aubrey who suppose to be a fully committed student, still willing to spend time with me whenever I am bored, and CY who needs to work, stayed up with me till late. XOXO

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30.4.09

Its public holiday tomorrow!!!

A lil shopping retreat yesterday, another 2 pairs of shoes for me, WTF, like 7 pairs in less than 2 months time. And the worse thing is, I still think that I need more. >.<>

I was suppose to just go sing K with ling and yoyo, end up, I bought like 2 pairs of heels and a dress and a hair band and......... forget d lah. After that we don't dare to step in any shop and wanna get rid from that place ASAP.

Feel so badly wanna go for party, purposely stayed up. But it was seriously too jam so we go Neway, yeah, I went sing twice in a day!

We had some great time. Sharon, Kevin, CY, Me.

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What else ahh???

hmmm...

Oh ya.. Currently addicted with a game called Left 4 Dead.

You all should really go try it out, kill all the zombies like how you kill all your troubles. Wooohooo!

Thanks a lot to Edwin for bringing me to CC and teach me patiently, and now I am getting better and better. At least don't get killed that much d. HeHe.

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I still in the mood to go party, but recently all the people kinda getting bored of it. So no chance d, but whatever lah, as long as I don't have to stay at home alone so much, don't get the chance of being emo too much, no party will be damn fine for me. HeHe.. (But if there is still any goes on, bring me along lah, pleaseeee...)

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Oklah.. I am seriously running out of idea d.

But I will keep update. He He... I want my pay! >.<

Please please please and please help!!!!!!!

Good night and good day everyone!

=XOXO=

The sky may be blue

2009-04-04T02:48:00.000+08:00

Have you ever check out how big is your sky?

This is what I see afterall

I need some comfort

2009-03-15T11:39:00.000+08:00

I am just afraid.

The picture

2009-03-07T17:03:00.000+08:00

Days back to KL is not as happening as I expected, there are still some shits that I have to deal with, without knowing what exactly is going on.

Things are getting better, right?

I hope so. :)

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Finally finish my damn mother fucking boring work in INTI

Can't help but get over excited with it. ^^

Got treated with McDonalds on the last day. ^^

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Get to spend time with my old good mates in Cyberjaya, everyone seems great afterall.

Alfred, Naomi, Jo Jo Ann, and their partners.

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Finally got to move into a new place of my own.

Went to IKEA to get my lovely wardrobe and study table

Super handsome Edwin Ang Ang be my kuli. Thank You so much dear. :)

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And of course, club club club.

Went to Zouk, hit it. *0*

Back!!!

2009-02-28T03:32:00.001+08:00

Finish my last day of work, FINALLY!!!

It was a good experience, tho it was real bored sometime.

Brought my camera and wanted to take some pictures, but the office and me was too busy and i don't have the time to take pictures with anyone of them.

Whatever lah, I might be going back anyway.

Peeps out there, I am coming back???

Is the party still on?????

p/s Miss Wong Lee Ling, this is a non-emo entry especially for YOU! Do something!!!

Step Back

2009-02-26T21:25:00.000+08:00

I thought I need a relationship.

But now why I am afraid?

Afraid of what?

I'm sorry.

Pull back what I said, we still can be friend.

Thanks for caring. Thanks for all the compliments. Thanks for being so supportive to me.

S.O.S

2009-02-24T00:42:00.000+08:00

I am not sure with what I have done so wrong.

But she is right, I can't control what people will think of me. I gave them the right to judge on me, so I have to take it when they think I am wrong.

I would like to know where exactly is the problem.

Question with no answers. ><

Washed Away

2009-02-18T01:04:00.000+08:00

Me, eventually washed away all the sorrow.

Tears shed, no one sees it.

Told myself, is ok, tommorow may be a worse day.

Shall I wake up for hope? Or more sorrow?

Life is a bitch.

Good Night World.

P/S

2009-02-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

I know where is my limit and I know where I am positioning myself.

I may be a bitch, but I am not a slut.

Thanks for showing me the care and the disappointment so directly, I will take the advice.

The Fucked Up Valentines

2009-02-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

I seriously thought that it was just a night for fun, nothing much, a bunch of people hang out together, had some good time spend over the valentines happily.

I don't understand why are there so much issues popping up like dramas, we could probably won an award for it, but I was too tired to function my brain to sort out the dramas anymore.

Telling people what I have been through last nite till the morning, cause me myself can't believe what I have seen. That was a rebound, thx to mich, giving me a chance to actually see as an outsider on how crazy and how ugly I am where I used to be.

Using love as an excuse, thought that the love given by myself means everything to everyone. That was me, what i used to be. Now, is Mich, what exactly she is now. Knowing exactly how she feel, but still I feel helpless looking at all her sorrow. I been through all this shits, but it doesnt mean that I know how to help.

The night was a spoilt, from the beginning till the end. Overwhelmed by all those shits that has and has nothing to do with me.

For My Sake

2009-02-13T10:25:00.000+08:00

I don’t exactly know what is going on with me at the moment. Things which I think is important is still in a mess, intended to fix it up, but not now, just wanna give myself a lil break. I need no my life to be busy, all I want is just happening, fulfill my time with party and men.

But things always doesn’t seems easy for me, whenever I tend to do something to actually cheer myself up, there is always something minor but meant to be worry turns out. How am I supposed to deal with it? I hate the fact that I have to confront with all this feelings on my own; I hate the fact that I have everyone around me but still feel alone.

Life ain’t easy I know, full of challenges, full of crap, so I want to take an easy way. To stop care, to stop asking why, just take it as what it is, when it comes, I take it, for the good side, and let the bad side as what it is. I am big enough to take all the responsibilities on my own, but I am not strong enough to mend the broken heart, I gave up, so I leave it to anyone who wants to do that for me. Sounds a lot more easier isn’t it?

I hate what I heard last night, I hate my contribution on it.

I am in a dilemma, I know what they are expecting from me, but that’s definitely what I wanted to be. How to make them understand? Now, to live for someone else, or just me, myself? I tried too hard to satisfy everyone around me but myself. A major martyr, where coincidently read something about myself after someone telling me that I am that kind of people. Felt like a loser yelling everyday:” Use me! Use me!” Then all the users turns up and fully utilize me as I offer it to them, so why not? No one to be blame but myself, giving too much of free services where I actually worth more than that.

But now what? When I decided to live on the way I want, someone whom I really care reminds me that they won’t like me to be in that way.

D I L L E M M A

1st And Ever

2009-01-24T00:39:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year coming, I need something new, but out of cash, so get something free here. *o*

Lolz

I am getting better in time, feel weak sometime, but dad give me some touch last night, makes me feels like I am the only one again. Still not too late to found it out, home is really the only place you can go back to whenever you want, I see it in their eyes, THE LOVE.